The words of Dr benjamin Spock:
“We have reared a generation of brats. Parents aren’t firm enough with their children for fear of losing their love or incurring their resentment. This is a cruel deprivation that we professionals have imposed on mothers and fathers. Of course, we did it with the best of intentions. We didn’t realize until it was too late how our know-it-all attitude was undermining the self assurance of parents”
Who is this Dr Spock? Youi may ask, and no he is nothing to do with Star Trek. He was (May 2, 1903 – March 15, 1998) was an American pediatrician whose book Baby and Child Care, published in 1946, is one of the biggest best-sellers of all time. Its revolutionary message to mothers was that “you know more than you think you do.”
Spock was the first pediatrician to study psychoanalysis to try to understand children’s needs and family dynamics. His ideas about childcare influenced several generations of parents to be more flexible and affectionate with their children, and to treat them as individuals, whereas the previous conventional wisdom had been that child rearing should focus on building discipline, and that, e.g., babies should not be “spoiled” by picking them up when they cried.
Spock advocated that infants should not be placed on their back when sleeping, commenting in his 1958 edition that “if [an infant] vomits, he’s more likely to choke on the vomitus.” This advice was extremely influential on health-care providers, with nearly unanimous support through to the 1990s.[4] Later empirical studies, however, found that there is a significantly increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) associated with infants sleeping on their abdomens.
This man went on to say many more controversial things which our Social Services, governments and so called childcare experts follow today. But the strangest thing of all, is that they never listened to his most important statement, which I mentioned above. He had the courage to admit that many of his ideas were wrong.
On Allowance: It shouldn’t be used as payment for chores.
On Spanking: It teaches children that the larger, stronger person has the power to get his way, whether or not he is in the right…. Some spanked children feel quite justified in beating up on smaller ones.
Sex roles: I think it is normal for little boys to want to play with dolls and for little girls to want to play with toy cars, and it’s quite all right to let them have them.
On taking advice: Don’t take too seriously all that the neighbors say. Don’t be overawed by what the experts say. Don’t be afraid to trust your own common sense…. You should not take too literally what is said in this book.
From Dr. Spock’s Baby Book.
Nowadays our young do not know what discipline is, there is no control allowed by the teachers, our education system is going down the drain. Children who want to learn are constantly hindered by bad behaviour of other pupils and parents are frightened to scold their children for fear of prosecutioon/
What is this country coming to?.
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulation in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can use the resources I've posted if they want to learn more.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at http://www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
As far as spanking on the buttocks, I take it as blatantly obvious, or self-evident that it can be sexual, or could be construed as such.
Does spanking, or shall we use the term slapping instead, to avoid a word which has sexual overtones to some people, does slapping lightly around the side of the leg, when a young child has transgressed count as abuse?
Does it count as sexual? I’d say no to both of those questions. I believe, if my memory serves me correctly, that in the UK, the courts have deemed it acceptable to lightly slap a child on the leg as punishment.
I think you have gone a little overboard in sexualising any act you can, are seeing sexual overtones, or undertones in practically everything, and in words; when these words and acts are indeed innocent, or if used, done with good intentions. I’m glad I live in a world where I can see that most people can and do have good non-sexual intentions.
Personally, I advocate using time-outs, and being firm about using time-outs. However, in my experience, these do not work with many children. They refuse to go on a time-out, and they don’t take it seriously. In other words, I don’t think time-outs are that effective, but are about all parents or teachers have at their disposal these days in order to attempt to teach their children or students.
I’d like to know what your alternatives are.